All posts filed under: Mind

Be gentle, be kind.

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In my last post from the Monday Mantra series Speak Your Truth I was talking about the importance of learning how to address your concerns and desires in a way that opens the space for truthful, yet kind conversations. Especially if your personality is such that you find it hard to speak for yourself or to take the lead in important conversations, you may have experienced this: by the time you actually manage to address something, you have brooded over it since a while and hence the outcome is rather eruptive and anything but kind or gentle. As a matter of fact, I even used to get upset with the people around me because I would blame them for bringing me in a situation where something needed to be addressed – like they should really have been more considerate in the first place, or something. I projected the discomfort I had with confrontations right onto them instead of trying to figure out where it came from and how I could outgrow it. Then I experienced …

Speak your truth.

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My zodiac sign is libra and I fully live up to it by embodying all stereotypes and traits that are connected to that sign. I am indecisive, I despise conflict and I have a hard time adressing my concerns and desires. Which is tricky, since I often have a very precise idea about how I want things to be and sometimes find myself getting irritated when other people`s ideas differ from mine – especially when dealing with the people I am closest to. My family and friends became somewhat good at reading my mind and guessing what I may desire in a specific situation or moment – however, this doesn`t always work and definitely isn`t a recipe to go by when I`m surrounding myself with people I am less intimate with. So throughout the course of my life I have been working on a rather challenging task: How do I get to say, what I need to say, and how do I get to say it in a way that isn`t irritating for others. We …

Be still, my heart.

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If you have ever consciously tried to be still in life you know the feeling: it doesn`t take too long and you begin to feel an itch here… an uncomfortable folding of your clothes there… discomfort in one of your limbs… the possibilities are endless and the pulling of the mind is strong. If you have ever made the effort to stay still during these arising feelings and sensations, you may also have noticed something else: whatever it is, that was calling your attention in one moment, will fade when you have ignored it for some time – only to be replaced by another distraction. This little game of the mind will keep going for quite some time. However, if you manage to stay still, and if it is a good day, the pulling of the mind may eventually cease and leave you to just be. These experiences bring us three very important insights. One: the mind will try to pull our attention away at first – we need to learn how to be still. Two: …

Less is more.

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Choices don`t neccessarily make us happier. When we have little, there is the potential to be happy with what is. It seems to be human to constantly strive to improve the current situation we are in. Think about it: how often have you tried to make yourself feel better today? How many of your thoughts evolved around accomodating wishes or necessities? Being hungry, or thirsty, or hot, or cold, or tired, or eager… the list is endless. Once we have accomodated one wish, another one comes up. It`s an endless loop that can easily leave us feeling unwholly, dissatisfied and exhausted. Therefore, to live with little bears a huge potential – if it is done purposefully and from a perspective of self-care and love. This is not about scarcety. There is nothing relaxing or uplifting about having too little to live well. Our livelihoods need to be covered. However, in our postmodern society and especially in the wealthy countries of the West we have long outgrown our basic needs. We have too much of everything. …

Near Away

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On the night before you left, we didn`t get to sleep. Never again, I told myself and you, I would burden our love with an early departure, knowing well that come the time of choosing between the luxury of a slow goodbye and saving what little money we have, we would probably push that promise into the back of our minds. How often do we need to let our mind rule over our heart until we decide to change our course? On the night before you left, we didn`t get to share sweet love, there was no space for deep embraces and soft kisses, nor murmured whispers of devotion. On the night before you left, we packed and ravaged until early morning hours, departure inhabiting every cell of our bodies, as if we wanted to press all the things undone, unsaid, unprepared into the last remaining minutes together before…. I remeber lying down next to you, putting my head to rest on your shoulder, as if I wanted to hold on to this body, heart …

The Unexpected Is Sometimes The Best.

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Sometimes all it takes is diving into the unexpected. Our apartment was going to be occupied during the weekend because we were thinking that we would spend the weekend at my grandmothers house. Only – all of a sudden – we weren`t . My grandmother, who always received all of our big family, friends and even friends friends warmly in her big house, a hot soup on the stove and fresh flowers on the bedside tables, wasn`t feeling up to it. Shortly before turning 90 in February, she found herself week and anxious, something we all ascribed to the ‘big day’ but has never left her fully since. Being thrown back to the little girl I intuitively become towards her, I refused to acknowledge this new situation and the possibility of her being anything but happy with us coming didn`t even occur to me until she found the courage to tell me herself. So here we were, with no travel at hand, an empty bank account and in need of a place to stay. As …